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When is Blonde too Blonde?
I think the whole issue of growing out my highlights all started when my normal hairdresser became sick with COVID a couple years ago. She had to cancel all of her appointments for weeks and weeks which left all of her normal clients scrambling for a new hairdresser to fill in the gap.
During this period of time, I met a young spunky girl who had just opened up her hair salon and was on fire to make a good impression with me. So, she amped up my blonde highlights like I'd never seen before.
Whoa! Those babies were bright blonde and growing on me! They made me feel so young and vibrant! I decided right then and there to keep going back to her every 6-8 weeks. Which I did.
After the 3rd visit, my husband asked me, "Why do you keep doing that to your hair?! I don't like it."
"Excuse me?" Are you kidding? These highlights are great and making me feel awesome! How can you not like them?!"
But I wasn't fooling anyone. This wasn't the first time I had heard my husband voice this complaint. Yup. He has said this to me before, and I ignored him.
So, instead of listening to my husband's heart on the matter, I decided the best thing for me to do was to make my next hair appointment with my previous hairdresser, because, if I remembered correctly, my husband didn't complain so much about my highlights before.
After my hair appointment, I walked through the back door to our home, I really didn't think my husband would notice my fresh cut and highlights, but he did, and as soon as he saw me, he said, "I thought you weren't going to do that anymore?"
So, apparently, going back to my previous hairdresser didn't change a thing, and its pretty apparent my husband does NOT like the look of highlights on me. Now I have to seriously think about what I'm going to do.
Everything in me wanted to buck against my husband's comments. Ugh! This was so hard!
I struggled with this deeply! Perhaps it's because I've been getting blonde highlights for years and years, and the thought of not having blonde highlights gave me an insecurity complex!
When I Started to Skip the Blonde Highlights
Seven weeks later, the day before my next hair appointment, I warned my husband that I was getting fresh highlights and that was the end of the matter. He said, "If you want to make me happy, then let your natural hair color grow."
Now I was super frustrated. He was leaving the choice up to me and I really really wanted to keep my blonde look. This was so upsetting to me, but at the same time I wanted to please my husband. Have you been there?
After my hairdresser trimmed my hair, she said, "So are we getting highlights today?" and I said, "Actually, no, my husband wants me to grow my highlights out and let my natural color grow."
I went on to tell her that this wasn't my choice and I don't know if I can handle the dark roots coming in so I may have to call her in a few weeks to schedule some emergency highlights.
I only lasted a few days. Then I called my hairdresser in a panic, "Listen, I am desperate here, can you please squeeze me in for an appointment this afternoon? I'm going out of town next week and I want to look and feel my best and I can't without my blonde highlights!" She fit me in for a 2:30PM slot that day. Thank goodness. LOL
BTW: When did I get so vain?
At lunch, I warned my husband of my activity that afternoon, "Listen, this is what is going to happen and you need to accept it." He repeated the same words as before, "If you want to make me happy, then let your natural hair color grow."
I Cancelled My Hair Appointment
At 2PM that day, I cancelled my hair appointment, which was the hardest thing I have done in a long time. My excuse I gave the hairdresser was, "I would rather have a happy husband than have blonde highlights in my hair." She told me she understood completely and sounded rather touched by the whole matter.
It took everything in me to accept my new look with the dark roots and all and I tried not to become too obsessed with the whole thing. At least there were some old highlights left.
Seven weeks later, when it was time for another trim, I walked into the hair salon kind of nervous... This time, more of my blonde highlights would be cut off and my hair was going to appear darker.
After my hairdresser finished the trim, she said, "Are we doing highlights today?" I said, "No..." Then she said, "Because you want a happy husband, right?" Then she smiled and giggled.
"Yes, because I love my husband and he wants my blonde highlights to grow out." I was cringing as I said this, and so nervous to see a head full of natural hair color.
She turned me around so I could look in the mirror -- and it wasn't so bad! I stood up and said, "It looks great! I feel good! I can do this!
My New Look Gave Me a Boost
I walked out of the salon beaming and felt as light as air. I did it! I practically cut off all my highlights! And my husband is going to be so happy!
Then I headed to a nearby store to pick up a few things and a young teenage girl stopped me to tell me she loved my hair color. "Really??" I said with a high tilt to my voice. So I told her, "I'm growing out my blonde highlights and I'm so nervous about it!" She went on to tell me that the haircut was cute too.
So there you have it! The good and the bad of growing my blonde highlights out, and the upswing is, I have a super happy husband who is tickled to pieces that I listened to his heart, even though it meant dying to my ideas of what beautiful should look like on me!
This isn't to say I will "never" get blonde highlights again, just not right now.
I'm Glad I Chose to Please My Loved One
I can think of so many Bible verses to add in here, but these stand out to me as being important on the matter of pleasing our husbands:
Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
The choice of getting or not getting highlights was mine. I understand I have a free will to do anything I choose. My decision came down to whether or not I wanted to submit to my husband's idea of what my hair color should be.
Proverbs 14:11
The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.
There were two ways presented to me: To keep getting blonde highlights or stop getting blonde highlights. Wisdom told my heart the better choice would be to submit to my husband. Only a fool would refuse to listen to a husband's heart desire. What would've been the outcome of me insisting on my own way anyways? Surely, not peace and happiness. I would've missed out on that feeling of being as light as air knowing I was pleasing my husband 😊
Proverbs 12:4
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
My deepest desire is to bring glory not only to my Heavenly Father in heaven, but to my husband as well. I want him to be proud of the wife at his side and if I had chosen my own way, I would've torn down the bridge of communication within our marriage and possibly sown bitterness in my husband's heart.
My Motives Were Examined
Is there an area in your life that your husband is asking you to give up and it's been a struggle? Perhaps, you are bucking against him like I was with my husband? Well, you aren't alone. This is a universal issue that all wives face at one point in their marriage relationship.
Finding balance with opposing arguments in marriage isn't easy, I will tell you that. We want our own way, and our way is very important to us. But our husband's desires are real too, and just as important to him. In the end, what really matters?
A wise woman builds her house and doesn't tear it down with her own hands. She promotes peace within her walls and doesn't let anything steal it away.
Don't let your own ideas and whims steal your peace away or ruin your marriage even if it is just blonde highlights. Promote harmony within the walls of your relationship. The Lord honors this above all else. He calls us to be peacemakers. Let's learn to lay your own ideas aside and come under the covering of your husband --As if you were laying your ideas aside for the Lord.
I promise you --you will feel as light as air! And peace will cover you 💕
And most of all, you will be a crown to your husband. One of splendor and glory.
Let's Pray Together
Father in Heaven,
You have created women with a desire to be beautiful and attract the attention of her husband. Thank you for creating and designing the marriage relationship. We understand the act of submitting to our husband is a way we as as Christians submit to You as our Lord, and in this matter, we want to be without reproach.
Help us Lord, as we struggle with this area of listening to our husbands ideas and desires, especially when they are opposite of what we are wanting.
Your grace and strength are sufficient for us. Thank you. All we need to do is ask for Your help, and You are there in a moments time, pouring out grace to be a beautiful wife and helpmeet.
Continue to bless and strengthen the lives of all who read this blog post.
In Your Precious Name, Amen.
Blessings ~
Angie
The Founder
My Sun & Shade Ministries
Tips for Growing Out Highlights
It's common for many women to change their hair color to please their spouses, but it's important to remember that we should feel comfortable and confident in our own skin. Here are some tips to help you navigate this transition and embrace your natural hair color:
Be patient: Growing out highlights can be a slow process, so it's important to be patient. Remember that it may take several months or even a year for your hair to fully transition to your natural color. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results right away.
Try to adjust to the new look: It can be difficult to adjust to a new hair color, especially if you've had highlights for a long time. But try to embrace the change and see it as an opportunity to try out new hairstyles and haircuts that you may not have considered before.
Try wearing hair in different ways: Experiment with different hairstyles and hair accessories to help you feel more confident and comfortable with your new look. This could include braids, buns, ponytails, or hair clips.
Use hair care products that promote healthy hair growth: To help your hair grow out faster and healthier, use hair care products that are designed to promote hair growth and nourish your hair. Look for products that contain biotin, keratin, and other essential vitamins and minerals.
Consider talking to a hairstylist: If you're struggling with the transition, consider talking to a hairstylist who can give you advice on how to style your hair and make the most of your natural color. They may also be able to recommend products or treatments that can help your hair grow out faster and healthier.
