By Angie, the Founder of My Sun & Shade Ministries
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Life Was Forever Changed
My father-in-law passed away recently and I am forever changed by the whole experience.
The old saying is true, “You never know when your time will come.”
Well, we certainly didn’t know his time was so near.
My father-in-law had suffered from poor health for quite some time, and ultimately it was his heart that failed him.
After he passed, my mother-in-law said over and over again, “I didn’t know it was going to be today. I just didn’t know it would be today."
But, his time to leave this earth had come.
The Phone Call
Early that morning, we received the call that dad had been rushed to the ER. My husband grabbed his keys and started heading for the door in his pajamas.
“Wait!” I yelled. “Go take a shower first.”
He looked scrambled, but after I insisted, he agreed. Yes, he should take a shower first.
Good thing too.
My father-in-law was rushed to the ER on that fateful morning, where his wife, Becky and my husband, Aaron, met him at the hospital.
As my father-in-law was being transported from the ambulance into the ER, he gave my husband a thumbs up sign, and that was the last time Aaron would see his dad alive.
Divine Appointments
Just the day before, my husband was given the blessed opportunity to take his father to a couple of doctor’s appointments, which gave them ample time to talk together, since these appointments took up the whole day.
During the day, my father-in-law mentioned to my husband that he didn’t think he had long to live.
Later that night, both my husband and I had another blessed opportunity to take his parents out to eat for dinner at Red Lobster.
This was something we had wanted to do for a while, but our schedules never lined up.
But on this night they did.
My mother-in-law, Becky, somewhat pushed for the dinner to happen on that evening because they were going to be busy the rest of the week.
Which, now, we are so very thankful she did push to squeeze our dinner at Red Lobster in, because that was our last dinner together.
Life is Short
After my father-in-law had passed away, I stood in his hospital room with my mother-in-law, my husband, and my son, Isaiah, and I was struck with the suddenness of death.
The starkness of beholding death behind a curtain while the rest of the ER staff was scurrying around was numbing.
Death was like an everyday occurrence in the ER. Everyone's lives were still going on...
But in our world, time was standing still.
There was my father-in-law, gone, lying on the hospital bed with nothing more to say.
His life was over. He will never have another chance to speak into our lives again, or be a part of any other family activity.
It was so final and so sad.
Life is Short - Cherish Your Loved Ones
I will always treasure the memories of my father-in-law, and the words of wisdom he so often shared.
Almost every time we gathered as a family he had something of the Lord to share, some truth the Lord was making real to him, or a story of how he witnessed to a passerby in the store or while sitting in a waiting room. He was always sharing.
The Lord was so real to him and he couldn't help but share his insight with everyone he met.
He had his chance to live on this earth, and He most definitely lived for the Lord, but, his opportunity to have an impact on the every day world around him, was now over.
Life is Short - Put Others First
My father-in-law was 77 years old and had stayed close to home for sometime due to his failing health, but, he was most active in his spiritual life.
On many occasions, I heard him speak of the way he and his wife, Becky, prayed for their nine children on a daily basis.
He was always seeking the Lord on behalf of his children and their spouses.
In those moments after his death, I came to realize the fragility of life and the short time we have to live for the Lord and impart our faith to others.
“It’s all about other people,” my heart kept saying to myself.
This phrase kept going over and over in my spirit.
“It’s all about other people.”
Life is Short - Share Your Faith
The reality is, we tend to live for ourselves. Every day, we do things that satisfy our lusts, desires, and physical needs, not giving any thought to those who are without.
My father-in-law loved to share his faith with others.
The impact of his life's testimony will go on in the lives and hearts of those he touched.
We cannot even fathom what the Lord had waiting for him in heaven. He certainly gained an eternal inheritance!
I believe in such things as an eternal inheritance, so my time to invest is right now!
Heavenly riches can be stored up as I bring glory to the Lord through faith and good works.
By putting other's needs first, by sharing my faith with others, by praying for others, the list goes on and on.
"It's all about other people."
This is the impact my father-in-law’s passing had on me, and it is already producing fruit in my life.
Life is Short - Make Time for Others
My busy life has caused me to create some bad habits.
One nasty habit I've developed, is losing my patience with others.
People get in the way of my agenda, and I find it irritating.
When did I become so hard-hearted? Why do I find it so difficult to slow my pace down and connect with people?
As I consider my father-in-law's life and spiritual impact on his family, I wonder how I can fill his shoes?
He had a gift of making time for others.
Everything happens for a reason, and I believe, my father-in-law's passing isn't in vain.
His life is over, but his testimony is being reproduced in others. He planted spiritual seeds in people's lives that will bloom and grow.
Life is Short - Become a Better Person
I don’t want to miss this opportunity to develop into a better person.
The teachings of Jesus are all about loving others and forgiving others.
When did I lose this perspective?
When did I get so busy that others don't matter anymore??
For so many years, I've been under a delusion of rude politeness.
I may be nice to your face, but don't trip me up, “Hi, nice to see ya, now get out of my way!”
I was blind to my own actions, but now I see myself for who I've been: wretched, impatient, selfish, and greedy.
Thank the Lord for this new perspective!
"It's all about other people."
Life is Short - Give to Others
Give to others. Share with others. Listen to others.
Make time for others.
Put other people’s needs above your own.
Don't judge others by what you see. Give people the benefit of the doubt.
Don't hold onto grudges. Be willing and ready to forgive.
I'm a better person because of my father-in-law's life.
I'm more free to share my faith with others.
I’ve never been so open about my faith then I have in the last week or so.
I not only share my faith with my church family, but now, my coworkers have heard about my faith, people in the store have heard about my faith, our catering company we used for the funeral luncheon heard about my faith, the funeral director, our neighbors, you name it!
I left a deposit of the Lord on each one. Seeds of faith were sown!
You know what? This has all transpired since my father-in-law’s death. He would've loved it!
He was an evangelist and would share his faith and testimony with anyone who would give him a minute to talk.
Life is Short - Cherish Each Moment
After we made the move to New York in 2017, and my husband, was installed as pastor of a little church, my father-in-law wanted to come and be apart.
In 2018, they left their 5 acre farm of 40+years and headed east! My in-laws were so excited to move from Michigan to New York!
For two years he enjoyed his son’s sermons and he told everyone he met that his son was his pastor.
In fact, the day before he died, as he was being wheeled away to an appointment, my husband overheard his dad tell a nurse “That is my son, and he is my pastor too.”
It touched my husband’s heart. It touches my heart too.
This is such a precious memory for us. It gives us a chuckle too. He was so proud of his pastor-son! He always told people about his faith and that his son was his pastor too!
My father-in-law wanted nothing else than to see all of his children follow the Lord.
Before he passed, he was able to see his great-grandson be dedicated to the Lord. What an awesome experience this was for him.
Life is Short - Live for Today
When we were sitting at Red Lobster, the night before Dad died, my mother-in-law, Becky, turned to me and said, “Dad came to dinner tonight, for her.”
He had told her he didn’t feel good, but he would go to Red Lobster because he knew she was looking forward to it. It was so sweet of Dad.
While the four of us waited for our meals, we couldn’t help but comment on how nice it was to be out together, “just the four of us.”
In fact, the more we thought about it, we couldn’t remember ever having done it in the last 26 years my husband and I have been married! We couldn’t believe it!
One of the last things we said to each before saying goodnight, was, “We have to do this again sometime!” And we really meant it.
But, it will never be “just the four of us,” ever again.
Oh how I would’ve done things differently had I known it was the last time I would see Dad…
“Goodnight Dad!” I yelled to him before walking to our own car.
He shut his door and Mom shut the hatch where his wheelchair was stored, and that was that.
Life is so short. Make the most of every second of every day.
Cherish every moment and every person in your life.
Take nothing and no one for granted.
Galatians 6:10 (ESV)
So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
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