11 Tips for a Lasting Marriage
This 11 Tip List is not exhaustive by any means, but merely a list of some very good points that we incorporated into our marriage.
All of us who are married know marriage is not an easy path. Yes, we love our husbands, and yes, we are thankful for our families - but deep down, it gets REALLY hard sometimes.
Why is that? Well, because we are human and people get under our skin, LOL, especially those we live with, and then, sometimes we just get burnt-out from responsibilities and need a break.
Once that break is over, we typically feel refreshed and ready to take on the challenges of life again. That is, if our break was refreshing...
So that is my suggestion before we even get going with the serious stuff. If you recognize a lack of grace with hubby or the kids, step back, take a break and regain composure, and while you are taking that break, read through these 11 Tips for a Great Marriage:
This is the topmost important tip to apply to your marriage - starting today. Every person deserves the right to be themselves. We each have different tastes, styles, and preferences and these should not be mocked or belittled but celebrated in marriage. God has brought two unique people together to create a new family unit, respecting the differences between you and your spouse is the first key to having a great marriage.
More than anything, husbands are looking for respect. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
When appreciation is shown for loving actions and displays of affection, it can only mean one thing: a great marriage! Knowing that your spouse appreciates the things you do and the effort you put forth into the relationship is an amazing feeling - it makes you want to do more and more! This creates an ecosystem that thrives!
When there is a cycle of giving and receiving with appreciative hearts, there is blessing upon blessing for a beautiful marriage. So, practice showing appreciation today!
This tip carries a lot of weight because holding onto forgiveness literally weighs you down. This weight is compounded day after day if forgiveness is not exercised within the relationship. Remember, none of us are perfect, we are all different and see things differently. Misunderstandings happen to the best of us, and usually this is where issues begin.
Letting go of grudges and hurts is easier said than done - but is necessary for a great marriage. Some grievances are very hard to overcome, but God turns all wrongs to right if we forgive and trust Him. This is the first step to healing deep wounds: forgive and trust God to make all wrongs right.
It really, really hurts when your spouse does not take time to listen to your stories, cares, and concerns. I understand! If this is your case, make it a matter of prayer, but also, be counter active, making sure you are being a good listener too. On top of that, express to your spouse that you feel loved and cared for when he does listen to you. This will appeal to their sense of worth as a person and may even open opportunities for you to share what is on your heart.
Side Note: keep in mind to make things brief when speaking about heavy matters, this will overwhelm them especially after a long day at work.
Be mindful of how much your husband can handle and approach topics delicately. I have found if I give my husband a warning that I need to speak to him about something later, it helps him prepare for the conversation. That may sound funny, but it has worked for us over the years.
Show your husband you care about him by doing little actions that will mean the most to him. We know the things that will bless our husband - so let us go out of our way and make those things happen. Little sacrifices of our time like this will pay off. We will begin to see the cycle of giving and receiving flowing in our marriage and this always leads to blessing.
Our most precious commodity is our time, and when a loved one knows you are giving them what is valued most, they feel treasured. Treasure your spouse, make him feel special. Do those things that he loves to do and bless him with your time today.
There is no way around it, a soft touch melts hearts, just like a soft answer turns away wrath. Reach out and hug your husband, massage his shoulders, rub the back of his neck, hold his hand, whatever relaxes him the most, and enjoy the closeness of each other.
This is a biggie in our world. If there is no food for dinner, there is mayhem in the house. Somehow, this responsibility for food falls on the wife's shoulders, much like the lawn care falls on the husband's. Naturally, all of us are hungry in the evening and enjoy a warm meal. Husbands appreciate this SO much! Never, ever look over this. Do all that you can to be prepared to feed your hungry man when he comes home from work.
Your husband enjoys hearing this as much as wives do, so let us not forget to mention those three words, I LOVE YOU, and really mean it. When you are doing something together, like shopping, or going out on a date, do not forget to express, “I love doing this with you…” It warms their heart to know you are happy.
This tip was meant to remind the wife to minister to her husbands needs, in whatever capacity they are. Does he need a shirt ironed? A warm breakfast before work? A yummy lunch? New clothes? Fresh baked cookies? You know your husband best, and you know exactly what will put a smile on his face and wash the stress away!
This last tip can not be forgotten in the hustle-bustle of life. No matter how busy you are, always make time to pray for your husband. This makes all the difference in the world. Not only will you gain perspective and understanding of your relationship when you pray, but you will bless your husband in the spirit as well. Do not overlook this spiritual power, and always make time to pray! Go forth and bless your husband today!