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A Strong Marriage: 11 Tips for Couples

The Essentials of Love and Respect in a Relationship

11 Essentials to Strengthen the Marriage Relationship: Begin Applying These Insights Today to renew Love and Respect

My Sun & Shade is passionate about helping married couples cultivate love and respect in the marriage relationship. That's one of the reasons why My Sun & Shade was started in 2019. (Check out the backstory HERE).

Read and apply the following 11 amazing and insightful tips that will strengthen your marriage, brighten your home, and renew love.

The Founder, Angie, and her husband have been married for 31 years and share some of the insights they've gathered on marriage and family values in these 11 essential tips for married couples.

What has kept them together for all these years?

Aaron and Angie grew up in a loving church, surrounded by strong Christian families. Their awareness of God and His ways became real to them during these early years and they applied everything they had been taught to their marriage relationship and home.

Angie shares their love story in her personal memoir, Sunshine in My Heart: My Journey of Faith, Love, and New Beginnings. Read more about this book and the inspiration behind it's publication, HERE.

Tips for a Strong and Loving Marriage

1. Respect Each Other Even When You Disagree.

This is an important tip to apply to a marriage relationship. Every person deserves the right to be themselves. All of us have different tastes, styles, and preferences and these should not be mocked or belittled - but celebrated in marriage. God has brought two unique people together to create a new family unit. Therefore, respecting the differences between you and your spouse is the first key to having a great marriage.

More than anything, husbands are looking for respect, and wives are looking for love and affection. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul wisely writes, “let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

2. Show Each Other Kindness and Appreciation.

When a spouse appreciates the efforts put into the marriage, it is an amazing feeling! It motivates the other spouse to do more and more! This creates an ecosystem that thrives on love and kindness!

When there is a cycle of giving and receiving, you have the building blocks for a beautiful marriage. Practice showing appreciation today! If you don't know where to start, just try saying, "thank you," the next time your spouse does anything to benefit the marriage.

3. Forgive Each Other, Just as the Lord Forgives You.

This tip carries a lot of weight because holding onto forgiveness literally weighs you down and keeps you from being forgiven by the Lord. This weight is compounded day after day if forgiveness is not exercised within the marriage relationship.

None of us are perfect. All of us see things differently, and misunderstandings happen to the best of us.

Embrace marriage for what it is: the joining of two completely different personalities, and honor the different perspectives each spouse brings to the relationship.

Holding onto grudges only hurts a marriage. Learn to let things go. On the other hand, some grievances are very hard to overcome, and this is understandable. But, when a spouse trusts in God, the heart has hope that He will turn all things wrong to right.

4. Really Listen to Each Other.

It really, really hurts when a spouse does not take time to listen to stories, cares, and concerns. I totally understand!

If this is your case, make it a matter of prayer, but also, be counter active, making sure you are being a good listener too. On top of that, express to your spouse that you feel loved and cared for when the things you share are received. This will appeal to their sense of worth as a person and may even open opportunities for you to share more things on your heart.

Be mindful of how much your spouse can handle and approach sensitive topics delicately. I have found that if I give my husband a warning that I need to speak to him about something later, it helps him prepare for the conversation. That may sound funny, but it has worked for us over the years.

5. Show Your Spouse How Much You Care for Them.

Show your spouse loving affection by doing little actions that mean the most. For instance, I know that my husband LOVES desserts, and I will go out of my way to make sure he has the tastiest cheesecake to enjoy after a difficult day.

Little sacrifices of time and energy really pay off in a marriage. Brainstorm ideas that will bless your spouse today and put them into action. Keep doing this and you will see the cycle of giving and receiving flow in the marriage relationship and this always leads to blessings.

6. Make Time for Each Other.

Treasure your spouse and make them feel special. They are your better half, and they compliment your weaknesses and strengths. Bless your spouse with time, and give them your full attention.

When a spouse needs to talk things through, put projects aside and focus on what they are saying. This shows them your love like nothing else can.

Time is our most precious commodity, and when we give our spouse the time they need to express their needs, stories, or fears, you are giving them the gift of your time.

7. Show Each Other Affection.

A soft touch melts hearts, just like a soft answer turns away wrath. Reach out and hug your spouse. Let them know you care about them. Often times, a show of affection resolves conflict quicker than silent treatment or arguments.

8. The Blessing of Meals.

This is a biggie in our world. If there is no food for dinner, there is mayhem in the house. More often than not, this responsibility for food falls on the wife's shoulders, much like the lawn care falls on the husband's. I hate to be stereotypical here, but it's true.

She rises while it is still night to provide food for her household and portions for her maidservants. (Proverbs 31:15 ESV)

Naturally, all of us are hungry several times a day, because that is the way God created us, and I know for a fact, that a thoughtful warm meal can bring peace to a household faster than anything else.

Do not neglect this sacrifice of love. Dedicate some time to meal planning and watch your spouse never miss a meal!

9. Husbands Love Your Wives. Wives Respect Your Husbands.

The world is flippant with Scripture today because there are so many voices, but this concept of a husband loving his wife, and a wife respecting her husband is Scriptural and should not be dismissed.

Husbands need honor and respect. That is the way they are emotionally driven. ( Read Ephesians 5:22-33)

Wives crave love and affection. That is they way they are emotionally driven. (Read Ephesians 5:33)

If either one is lacking there is bitterness, infidelity, and discontentment.

When God's Word is honored, there is blessing.

10. Pray for Your Each Other.

No matter how busy you are, always make time to pray for your spouse and for your marriage. This makes all the difference in the world. Not only will you gain perspective and understanding of your relationship when you pray, but you will bless each other in the spirit as well. Do not overlook this spiritual power, and always make time to pray!

11. Put God at the Center of Your Marriage.

When a marriage is centered around God there is no regret, no remorse, and no more hurt, because God is involved with every aspect of the relationship.

Love has center stage and hurtful, hateful actions have been displaced. The key in this equation is to remain steadfast in your relationship with the Lord. This needs to be done individually, and together as a couple.

Focus your time, energies, and concern around pleasing the Creator of marriage, Who designed this beautiful union between a man and a women. His intention for marriage is to be a symbol of His love for the church and those who break this mold through divorce taint this heavenly concept.

A married couple can find true fulfillment and satisfaction in the marriage when God is at the center. This leads to blessing upon blessing, for God ways are right. He alone is the source of our life, and all good things come from our Father in heaven.

Invite Him to be apart of your marriage today, and experience the joy, satisfaction, and the life-giving grace He gives to those who call upon His name.

If you haven't accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, I invite you to do so now. Read about salvation HERE: New Life in Christ